TO A GENTLEWOMAN OBJECTING TO HIM HIS GRAY HAIRS:
RESEARCH PROJECTS

• Tape an interview with the oldest person you know about why it sucks to be old. Then, tape an interview with the youngest person you know about why it sucks to be old.

• Research the history of hair dying. If it went back to the 1600s, then this poem is really making a big deal about nothing, isn’t it?

• Rub at least a cup of flour into your hair to make it look white, like an old person’s, and then walk around your school. If people treat you like you are mentally enfeebled, you are living in a society that discriminates against the elderly.

• Study the writings of serial killers. See how many of them used “They kept laughing at me” as an excuse. If the number who did outweighs the number that didn’t, start a petition to have your local library cut the pages with Robert Herrick poems out of all of the poetry anthologies on their shelves.

• Examine pictures posted on the internet by profession. Which profession beside real estate agents has the most people in need of a good “Herricking” (pointing out that they are going to get old and look ugly someday). Write a letter to an organization that serves that profession, such as the Bar Association or the Western States Drycleaning & Launderers Association, telling them to warn their clients against impending age.